The work I created as an Irwin Scholar in 2023-24 and exhibited in the “Material Matters” show at UCSC’s Sesnon Gallery (June 2024) can all be traced back to trying to answer the question of what making art means to me, whether it is to process difficult experiences, feeling present and in control in at least one aspect of my life, or gaining a deeper understanding of lineage and generational influence. They also address femininity in the context of my heritage and family history. As a mixed-race woman, I am well aware of how cultural values clash till it becomes impossible to please every world that I am a part of. These pieces try to find where my personal values and the values society has imposed on me since birth meet and end.
Bargaining with Death and Yesterday Daydream are visualizations of my propensity for freezing, which is one of my biggest weaknesses. I have the tendency to stagnate, only having the energy to fulfill the essential tasks but with nothing left over to really live. I don’t know if it’s an inherent state of my being, or something I can unlearn, but every piece I make is a demonstration of those rare moments of thawing, where I allow myself to truly connect with my inner and outer reality.
Intergenerational trauma and sacrifice has also been on my mind. Those that came before me had a similar passion for art, but could not pursue it due to their reality as Filipino-American women in the 20th century facing cultural and socio-economic limits. Both their dreams and emotional hurt live on inside me and my print, One Fine Day, is meant to honor and share those previously untold narratives. I also feel a sense of responsibility to pursue the opportunity to make my own art, in light of the sacrifices of those who came before me.
Introduction of Ariel Barish by Celine Parreñas Shimizu, Dean of the Arts and Distinguished Professor at the University of California at Santa Cruz.